pick up bad habits of expectancy."
Something about hitting nails on the head strikes me with this poem.
You go to a party expecting it to be good- it's usually terrible.
You wake up in a good mood and expect your boyfriend or girlfriend to be in a good mood too.
You are disappointed when you go on holiday because you expected it to be exciting and fun from the second you arrive to the moment you leave.
You get a new job, expect it to change your life and make you happy.
Christmas morning... Now that's always an anti-climax.
Changing this, and moving away from having expectations is really hard. It's definitely something I'm still working on. Yet, I have also learned some stuff so far!
1. Notice it. Start noticing when you are angry or disappointed and start thinking about what expectations you had.
2. When you have begun to notice that your expectations are being let down, you then quite naturally begin to notice when you are building up these expectations in your head.
3. The last thing I have learned is really about unlearning a big habit. My family are big believers in having things to look forward to. And while there is absolute truth in that being powerful, I also want to actually enjoy those days instead of being too "eager for the future" as Larkin so eloquently puts it.
One technique I used to use to help me sleep, was to look forward to something. I would daydream and put myself into the situations I was looking forward to. I never really realised that this was often ruining the actual experiences for me. So now, whenever I feel the urge to expect, I stop. Breathe. And try to empty my mind-easier said than done sometimes, but effective.
There are more lines from this poem I could quote. Strange how we are moved by words that we just have to read them out, share them with others.
If you understand what I am rambling on about in this post, I strongly suggest that you read the poem in full.
Enjoy
Oh, and notice your expectations.
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